sayers16

sayers16 @ 2008-05-03T23:07:00

2008-05-03T13:26:03Z

i am fat

i am fat

i am fat

i am fat

sayers16 @ 2008-03-24T01:04:00

2008-03-23T14:46:35Z

i fucked up.
i hate myself.
i gained all my weight again.

i am unable to get onto the internet for the next ten days as i am away in a isolated place with my family.
that means even more chance of them noticing me not eating properly.
talking about them noticing my ed, my little sister saw my last entry. I just know she will tell my mum and my older sister while we are away.
she doesn't understand the serious side though, she will just do it to try embarrass me. my mother and older sister will be angry and upset however. and they will also ensure i am eating properly. :S
i have to try to avoid this situation.
but more importantly i have to lose this weight.

i'm trying to humiliate myself for thinspo.
i took some really bad bloated photos directly after binging for 2days straight so you guys could criticize me etc.
i don't care what you say, i just want you to know how bad i look now and hopefully when i get back in ten days time i will be able to show you new photo's that look better.

hope you all did well over this Easter break.
fill me in.
xoxo

sayers16 @ 2008-03-21T00:45:00

2008-03-20T13:45:24Z

if you fast does it slow down your matabolism?
meaning when you eat it goes straight to fat.
so in the 2468 diet does your weight keep fluctuating because you might eat 200 cal one day then 800 the next?
i haven't eaten much in the past two days and i'm scared to go straight to 800cal tommo

sayers16 @ 2008-03-19T19:47:00

2008-03-19T09:00:05Z

ok just went for about a 20min jog burnt about 215cals

i went with my doggies (they are pretty big and strong not to mention crazy) so i must have burnt extra cals pulling on their chains to hold them back. lots of arm work!
got home and ate an apple +72cals

breakfast-20cal
snack-15cal
apple-72
=102cal
-215
=-113
sweet

sayers16 @ 2008-03-19T18:03:00

2008-03-19T07:03:36Z

i am so excited.
i think i got really wound up last night over eating really turned me off the whole process.
i feel in control today!
:)

i have eaten-
breaky-1/4 of a small banana-15 cal
and a little easter egg-20cal

my god.
feels so good.
i really want to keep this up!
mum is out for tonight so i think i will go for a run and then eat an apple for dinner

how is everyone else going?
i'm really nervous
tomorrow night i am going to my friends house and we always eat heaps!
she has like planned out all this food already!
God i have to say i'm not hungry and she'll have all my favourite foods.
:(
also i told all my boyfriends that i'd hang out with them all day/night on friday and just drink and have fun.
alcohol=mega cals
shit shit shit!
also when i'm drunk i eat sooo much!
anyone have good ways to avoid this?
hopefully they will just be too drunk to realise i'm not drinking much or eating much? :S
unlikely though.

God, any tips just fill me in!

sayers16 @ 2008-03-17T09:46:00

2008-03-16T22:51:19Z

ok, i started fasting today.
i'm really hungry though.
please give me motervation.
i'm usually not hungry when fasting because i have my mind so set on it?
maybei should go do homework? :S
i dunno. any ideas?
also, i'm going out with family tonight.
i can't not eat around them because then they will force me and i'll just eat more.
so annoyed.
trust me to plan not to eat and then find out i have too.

sayers16 @ 2008-03-17T02:18:00

2008-03-16T15:20:25Z

shit!
i planned to fast from tomorrow-thurs
just found out we are going out with the family for dinner tomorrow night.
anyone got any tips?
aarrhhh this really ruins my week:(
on top of that i didn't lose any weight all week.

sw-114
cw-110 (stayed that way for a whole week!!)
gw1-105
gw2-101
gw3-97

sayers16 @ 2008-03-17T00:35:00

2008-03-16T13:35:59Z

Ok so.
im fasting.

Start tomorrow-Thursday.
liquid liquid liquid.
im with friends all day Friday we are going out on Friday night and my they will bitch the hell out of me if i don't eat...soo i have to eat Friday, however i promise myself and all you guys that I will eat as little as possible and i won't continue binging like that for the rest of the week. ONLY Friday.

maybe i shall take lax?
Saturday i have a wedding to attend so everyone will be WAY too distracted to realise i haven't eaten!
NO food Saturday!
yay.
:)
perfect. ahh i feel heaps better now.
bye xoxo

sayers16 @ 2008-03-13T23:13:00

2008-03-13T12:43:34Z

i hate myself.
i could not motivate myself to wake up 30mins earlier this morning so i missed my run.
then mum boiled me and egg-98cal
and for lunch made me tuna salad-142cal
i also had 2 mocha's-120cal
(lots of milk Li was really stressed as i had a sac)
i ate 10easter eggs-360cal
and ½ a cup of strawberries-22cal
i suck.

That =742cal

after 3 hours of coaching gymnastics-estimated 388 loss
brings it down to 354cal

crap crap crap
tomorrow i will eat either
i tuna handroll or a fresh fruit juice depending on what i feel like.
i would like to awake 30mins early but i know in my heart i won't so i am not going to say i will.

sayers16 @ 2008-03-13T00:07:00

2008-03-12T13:17:20Z

i was doing sooo well.

i lost 2kg last week and then i went out on the weekend and ate and drank heaps with my friends.

Aarrrhhh….soooo many calories.
anyway. Once i go out and have heaps of fun with my friends i lose motivation to lose weight. i have been binging since sat night and gained weight my weight.
has anyone got any tips on how to stay motivated when hung-over etc?

tomorrow i will eat.
a banana
and a apple

do a 20min run in the morning
and coach gymnastics for 3hours after school.